Holding Pattern

Yup, that's what we're in right now: a holding pattern, waiting for our little boy to make his grand  (yet hopefully not too dramatic) entrance. Here is what I look like at 39 1/2 weeks pregnant (i.e., about 5 days from my due date):

[Please ignore the doorknob belly button and crappy lighting.]

Hopefully the hugeness of my belly right now makes up for the lack of progressive belly pictures along the way.

My thoughts, energy, and work this week have focused around three things: crafting, motherhood, and our newsletters. That's been my life (other than sleeping and eating, which are also a prominent focus right now).

CRAFTING. I've been way more focused on actually making stuff than blogging about it, though some pictures will come soon if I can bring myself to get around to it. (Maybe once baby is actually here wearing and using my creations, I'll be more motivated to post pictures!)

In the last month I've received two of the best gifts any crafty sewing mama could possibly receive: A Silhouette Cameo and a serger. Umm, yeah. My crafting horizons just EXPLODED. The Silhouette came to me as one of the sweet blessings of being support-raised (a lifestyle I still feel privileged to be called to - it is so incredible to be on the receiving end of people's generosity). A friend and her daughter, both of whom support us, found out that I had my eye on a Silhouette and saved their pennies to buy me the brand new model that just came out. How incredible is that!? I felt so loved. And, let me tell you, it has been put to work! In fact, I've been so hardcore with it that I already had to order a replacement blade AND cutting mat. Yeah, this baby will be well-onesied. The serger came as a joint birthday gift from my family members, initiated by my incredible husband. Did NOT see that one coming. Burp cloths, pants, and boppy covers have been flying out of that machine! I LOVE it.

One fun thing Annabel and I have been doing with the Silhouette is making baby onesies together, mostly using freezer paper stencils. This is actually a fantastic project to do together - she's really good at painting the stencils on (and washing the brushes afterward!). An extra margin of freezer paper around the edges of the cut-out keeps the rest of the shirt more or less protected from wayward paint. Sometimes we'll make matching shirts for her and the baby. Like I said, there's been more actual making than picture-taking, but here's a teaser:

Modeling our monster onesie, along with the remnants of blue freezie pop on her chin and the onesie's sleeve. She had to leave her mark, after all.  She chose the black-on-white combo.

Modeling her adorably huge "painting shirt" (i.e. a size Small adult tee shirt - yes, she really is that petite and cute). She's also demonstrating how little lap space I have left.

So yes...crafting has been a big focus, probably because it is my main way of nesting right now. And honestly, it's kind of fun NOT to have a whole house/room to get ready for the baby, because I feel freed up to work on smaller projects (like copious amounts of appliqued and stenciled onesies). Good times.

MOTHERHOOD. Yeah, this is an obvious one. My mommy instincts have been on hardcore overdrive for the past few weeks. I am more intensely emotional about my role as a mom than I ever remember being. I actually cried for about an hour the other day when we were on our way to spend an overnight with another couple at a cabin - because even though it was going to be a sweet time, I missed my daughter intensely and didn't want to leave her so soon before her world is going to be irrevocably invaded by a sibling. This kind of reaction might not be weird for some moms, but it was an absolutely foreign experience for me. Occasionally I miss my daughter when we're away, but honestly, most of the time I'm really excited to get the time to myself. I know she's happy and well cared for by my parents, and I know it's healthy for me and makes me a better mom to get some space. This emotional reaction was totally unprecedented. And ever since we got back, I pretty much don't want to leave the house (or her). My mommy brain has completely taken over.

My mom, doing an awesome job of lavishing love on my daughter. 

Me, loving being Mommy to my braided-hair big girl. Melt.

And then, of course, there's Pepe. My mothering thoughts toward him have, not surprisingly, circled around his impending birth and all the unknowns that go with that. I still wonder if I'll get to have a natural birth or will wind up with a second c-section. That's pretty up in the air at this point as he continues to grow, I continue to NOT dilate, and my doctor continues to get more and more nervous about me delivering a big baby with a scarred uterus. I pretty much have a week at this point, in terms of his size. If he doesn't come out on his own by then, that's it. My doctor will then put on the big-time pressure for a scheduled Caesarian. Which, aside from missing out on the experience of labor and birth (which, crazy as it might sound to some of you, means a ton to me), would also mean weeks of painful recovery. -- Hardly being able to use the stairs in my split-level house (HUGE inconvenience), not being able to drive, and hardest of all, not being able to pick up my daughter or play with her worth anything. So yeah, all of this is on my mind. And more. And when you literally can't move your body without being aware of the 8.5 pound child inside of it, it's pretty hard to focus on much else.

NEWSLETTERS. Self-explanatory, I guess. Hours of tri-folding and stamping and writing notes. It's part of my job, and I don't mind it. But it's certainly been a huge focus this week.

So...yeah. That's my current holding pattern. Crafting, mothering, trying to get as much rest as I can and make sure all my hospital-essential clothing items are clean and ready to throw in my suitcase when they're called for. (I don't know who actually succeeds in "packing for the hospital" weeks ahead of time. Most of the stuff in there I'm still using everyday, like the yoga pants that are the only thing I ever want to wear. And besides, the odds of having to go the hospital with NO time to spare are pretty remote. I think I've yet to meet anyone who actually raced to the hospital in a frenzy, like the scene from Juno.)

Anyways, that's my long-overdue update. A couple people think Monday will be the day. We'll see, eh?