loving my little girl

Thinking about the possibility of Harkness Baby #2 (who doesn't exist yet) is making me more and more grateful for the beautiful, relational, delightfully girly girl that I have already been blessed with. I have been enjoying her so much more lately. I know part of this has to do with my growth and feeling less overwhelmed by life in general, but I know part of it also has to do with the changes in her. I love seeing her one-of-a-kind personality blossom and take shape before my eyes.

This was taken last fall, but can't you just see that Little Girl emerging?

She’s becoming such a little girl. The toddler days are disappearing quickly. I LOVE hearing her put sentences together so perfectly with her giganto vocabulary, and when she is in a good mood, she is so deliciously sweet and thoughtful. In these moods, she says “please” and “thanks” and wants to be helpful and cooperative. I give her suggestions and she cheerfully says, “Okay! That sounds like a good idea!” and scampers off to do whatever it is.

I love hearing her little adverbs and adjectives come out left and right, and usually when I am not expecting it. “That would be really messy” is a classic example – she is very concerned about messes. Or, another classic that I hear all the time: “Look! My baby is comfy and cozy.” The more unexpected examples aren’t coming to mind at the moment, except for last night's declaration: “That tastes like vitamin juice. It’s really nummy!” (She has delicious gummy vitamins and was comparing their taste to our juice-concentrate-and-club-soda yumminess.) She is so good at making associations like this, without any suggestion from us.

She also has a killer memory. She can remember events from months ago in striking detail. I’ll have no idea she remembers it, but then all of a sudden she’ll bust out with, “You bought this for me at a garage sale.” And she’ll be right – I did buy her that doll at a garage sale. Like 9 months ago. When she was barely 2. How does she remember that?! She especially remembers events that are connected to people – like going in Grandpa’s boat, or making animal noises with Peter and Danny in the car, or how Auntie Becky was at her birthday party. (Again, how does she remember her 2nd birthday party!? So amazing.) She’s also very good at remembering who has given her various toys and gifts. (Let this be an encouragement to potential givers! :D) She consistently reminds us that her books are from Auntie Charlotte, her dress is from Auntie Lisa, and her kitchen is from Papa and Nini. Her strongest association with objects is not what they are or what she can do with them, but their connection to the person who gave them to her. That goes right along with the category of toy in her mind: “Kitchen-from-Papa-and-Nini.” “Stroller-from-Grandpa.” They’re not just objects; they are representations of people’s love for her, and I really think she gets that connection. Maybe gifts will turn out to be one of her love languages. Who knows. (Papa Satre will be in REALLY good shape if this turns out to be the case!)

This really is just another illustration of how relational she is. Her whole world revolves around relationships and people. It’s so obvious that this is true about her. People don’t have to be around her very long before they see this. She is strongly empathetic. Every time I say “ow” (which is a lot; I take after my Grandma Martha), she invariably says either “I’m sorry” or “Are you okay Mommy?” So endearing. Or, if she can tell I’m sad or just lethargic, she’ll ask me, “What’s wrong, Mommy?” Again, SO endearing. She can tell when I’m sick and will ask me about that too. When I tell her I’m not feeling good, she will give me this empathetic “mmm.” Adorable. And honestly not too different from what I would probably find myself doing with counseling clients. She is very attuned to other people’s discomfort.

In general, though, she is very attuned to the whole spectrum of people’s emotional state. She will often reflect this when we read books or watch movies together. As our friend Melissa pointed out, she is a movie-talker and will often say, “She’s sad because…” or “She’s happy because…” and will go on to give a very accurate synopsis of why that person is feeling a certain way. (This can annoy her movie-watching friends, but I love it.) It’s truly amazing sometimes how much she can pick up on these subtle undertones. She can do this in real life, too, when the emotions are less obvious. I remember being amazed when she was just 2 and a few months and watched an interaction between siblings. She [accurately] told me, “She’s sad because she wants his backpack.” Not terribly profound on its own, but considering it came from a toddler who had just barely started putting complete sentences together, I was pretty floored.

I love this girl. I love her little [quickly becoming big] personality. I love how even though her world revolves around people, she is still slow to warm up and has no problem taking her time to trust. I love that she is good at maintaining her own boundaries, but is still [for the most part] compliant with ours. I love her balance of independence and willingness to ask for help. I love that her verbal and relational intelligence far outpace her physical prowess, and that at three months shy of 3, she still is content with being unable to climb out of her crib. (I say it this way because I’m sure if she put her mind to it, she could figure it out and is certainly physically capable. She’s just not motivated, and that is FINE by me!) I love how she puts so much energy into caring for her dollies in every possible way, and literally would be content all day with just a baby doll and a dishcloth blanket to play with (as long as there was some attention from Mom and Dad, and maybe some food in there too). I love how much she loves her friends and will recite their names to me on a daily basis. (Mieke-Avi, Baby Milo, Baby Riley, Baby Eva, Danny, Peter, Baby Asher, and on and on…) I love that she resists watching certain parts of certain movies or even certain books because they’re “too scary.” (I never have to wonder – she lets me know if she’s afraid or uncomfortable. I think this bodes very well for her relational future.)

I just love her perfect balance of adventure, caution, whimsy, and responsibility. I love her feminine delicacy mixed with boldness and boundaries. I love her petite, 30-pound frame that performs grown-up tasks (like carefully bringing me coffee in the morning), and her sweet little voice that speaks grown-up sentences (like “Watch for the cars; they’re very dangerous!”). She is such a mix of little and big, tough and tender, and I am loving every bit of her.

Cautious: Watching cousin Sam climb those stairs, but not so sure about following him.

Bold: ICE CREAM!!! (Notice the over-ambitious bites out of the cone's side.)

Verbal: Rockin' those ABC's ("from Auntie Lisa!").

Relational: Bathtime fun with Sammy.

Adventurous: Winter tromping with Grandma Nona.

Contemplative: Studying her fishies.

Rhythmic & Whimsical: Dancing with Grandma.

Organized: Keeping our ducks (err, shoes) in a row - organized by size and owner.

Nurturing: Bert is VERY comfy & cozy under his twelve layers of diaper-blankets. (Though, Ernie could use some attention.)

Emotionally Expressive: Grumpy girl at Underwater World. No questions about how Annabel is feeling.

Silly: Hiding from the Tickling Gorilla.

I love my girl. God knew exactly what He was doing when He put this one together.